THE BLACK DOG

The black dog...

looking at me from a distance...

looking at me

and smiling with a mockery in eyes

you pet him

you kiss him

i scare him

i scare him

and he scares me

we look at each other

look at each other with contempt and jealousy

you go, pet him

you pet him and you kiss him

the black dog looks at me...

looks at me with mockery in his eyes

the black dog!!!

my reflection once...

my companion now

GREEN

I miss..

i miss nothing but one thing..

the string of green beads..

it holds my prayer...

holds my love...

holds my faith...

my power...

i miss nothing..

nothing but the strings of green beads..

beads that is no more green...

for their colour has faded...

faded with time..with time it has lost its colour

it has lost colour...

but still holds my prayer..

my faith...

my love..

my power...

i miss nothing else

nothing but the string of green beads

beads that i have no more... but will always be mine

NO OTHER

there can be no one else...

no one, who can take your place...

for you are the only one...

the one who was so special...

special enough to loose myself...

special enough to feel that way...

there will be no one else...

no one, i would imagine to live with for a life time...

for if its anyone but you...

it scares me...

it scares me to think...

to think about spending a life time...

i wished you were here...

here in my arms...

in my arms and not just in my memories...

for memories are surreal...

its your presence i desire...

not for a day... not for a month... not for a year... or years...

i desire it for this life time if no other...

you shouldn't have left...

you shouldn't have left...

as the roads sometime are a one way street...

i shall never...

never seek that warmth anymore...

for that warmth i shared with you ....

is enough...

is enough for a life time...

a life time i have already lived...

lived it with you...

it matters no more...

if i am dead or alive

there can be no one esle...

no one else that can take your place...

Sadness engulfs me...
as the pain gets unbearable...
unbearable and destructive...

i kill myself soon...
only if i am not dead yet

where are you???
lost???
but why???
did you have to go???

ask yourself...
ask yourself when you read this...
if you read this...
ask yourself...

why did you have to go???
why did you come in at the first place???
and when you came...
and felt my presence...
my presence that made you feel alive again...

why was it that you could not put more trust into it...
trust that might have kept it glorious...
glorious as it was...
when we walked into each other...
unannounced...

why???
why did you have to walk away???
walk away into the darkness...
darkness that blinds me...
darkness that tells me....
asks me to stay away...

stay away or it will kill you...
you who have walked into his arms...
why did you have to ....
have to walk into his arms....

the darkness tells me...
tells me that you are no more...
no more for me or anyone else...
he alone has the power...
the power to keep you alive...

i wish no light...
no light in my life...
my life that is darker...
darker than the core of the earth...
darker than the universe ...
the universe that exist...
exists behind the stars...

for if it was not for your life...
i would walk directly...
directly into the center of the darkness...
the place where you live

i wonder..
wonder if i have already lived my life completely...
lived it all in each glorious moment spent with you...
moments that are visible...
visible like a film...
a film running in front of me...

i never lived...
lived in a way...
the way i lived with you...
each moment is special..
special is every second of it..
and special is every word..
every word that was spoken..
and every word that was not spoken...

i lived...
lived my life with you...
in those glorious moments...

forgive me ...
forgive me, if i live no more...
for there is no feeling...
no sensation...
no desire...
left anymore...

i will exist...
exist to live that glory...
that glory which stays in me...
it stays in me and you cant take it...
take it away from me...
for this is one thing i will always protect...
protect it from your greed

go back to the banyan...
i no longer seek to climb it...
climb it and bring you down...
down, where my heart is...

my reasons have failed...
failed in the quest...
quest of bringing you back...
back, where my heart is...

i will live no more...
no more...
forgive me...
you who shall come in my life now...

for life shall never be empty...
never be alone...
forgive me now...
now, before you walk over my corpse....

where is the light

Strong experiences brings in profound changes in our personality,
this change manifest with time, transformation is the time when this happens.

its not easy to live this time, there is past, there is present and there is future
memories, experiences, desire, fear, craving... all becomes a part of existence
darkness surrounds us, black clouds covering the sky, quiet, calm, dark!!

sure change happens, they say in god's world all happens for good