May 7th

In the moments of emptiness..
I find no release,
reasoning fails me yet again,
and i find myself incapable..
incapable of keeping away.. keeping away from fate,
and keeping away from memories!!!
for my hheart is not ready..
not ready to accept its fate..

Their differences widen..
widen everyday..
widen in the moments of silence
widen in the moments of emptiness and in the moments of pain.
Life does teach me...
teach me everyday, day after day ...
a new lesson.
Yet i find..
find no relief..
no relief for the silence i carry,
cary in my soul..
why have you become,
become a living dead...
a ghost in the darkness,
up on the banayan tree....
Come down.. come down now,
for i desired, desired only you...
"You, My Fate"

anand

a friend i will miss all my life..
forgive me ..
forgive me my friend,
for i shall never meet u ...
meet u the way we met on the streets of koregaon park..
for i am no more ..
no more the person you met

tea

how will i ever come now
come for that cup of tea
you asked us to come over,
come over one evening and have a cup of tea
how will i ever come
come now, for that cup of tea

victims of our own desire

there is nothing in life that has a perfect definition...
alot is defined by the world around us and not by the action itself...
times when u dont care about the world's point of view, they will do everything to make sure we bend down to its rules...
this is a jungle...
my friends... who ever is reading this post today,
there is a flux of paranoi running through me...
at the same time i feel a sense of stability.. of calmness i don't think i had ever before..
now i feel no shame...
so i am ready to take responsibility for my own actions...
i try my best to avoid situations... situations that can be painful...
but i can do all a human can do in his capacity... sometimes... its the forces of the nature that determines our destiny...
it takes a brave to accept destiny... we learn it only after forgeting that life is not abt making mistakes...
only when we get trapped in the web of activities that takes charge and determines our faith..
may be its less confusing that way...lets us leave peacefully without having to figure out what to do with life...

The Story

The story is long....

may take a lifetime...

lifetime to finish

as of now its nowhere near its end...

The story that started with our comunion, where consumation defined a new language of love, of souls melting be one.

The story will go on,

even when the bodies are apart.

A union of two breaks,

breaks when one opts out..

and the other stays...

stays numb,immobile, still

unable to move

unable to blink

hardly able to breathe

the story moves on...

to this day, the numb stays numb...

lost in past chapters of the union, where two souls entwined in bliss

in bliss and in divinity. . .

the story goes on.

what's next... asks the reader

asks about the story of life...

asks to turn pages...

to move to the next one...

for life is stuck...

stuck as it is unaware...

unaware of what lies next...

the banyan

The Banyan

It was a dark night...
with hurdles on the way...
a short distance to cover ...
that seemed the longest ever...
my body was tired...
the acid wearing out...
vision blurred...
i was crawling...
following my friends on the way to the banyan tree...
it was a dark night...
a dark night when the moon was bright...
luminating white.... glorious light...
it was a dark night...

this is where the story begins....
the sunrise...
at the banyan...
banyan, where my feet were not ready to take me ....
ever, before that glorious night...
the fire was burning out...
still holding the warmth.. as a lost lover who has enough to share even when death is around
Then i met petra as i walked into the centre of the tree...
peaceful, calm, smiling...
her presence was warm... i felt a sense of security, a bit scare.. i had head rumours... abt this place...


it was a few years back when i was at the sweet lake and i saw someone coming down from the forest...
i asked out of curiosity... i had heard stories b''fore
what's up there??? she said ..... me
I did not get it...
but i knew i was not ready...
not ready to be there yet...
so i waited , waited until that dark night....
when my feet walked me over...
over to the banyan...

it was merry... and pure.. peaceful and musical.. it was natural and it was something i never experienced before...
the fire never went out... ever
petra.. was particular about that...
it was the presence, the sign of life... of life in the forest...
it was a symbol.. symbol of strength.. and of warmth...
the fire never went off

its been a year and half now...

since i have been to the banyan...

the banyan which has different meaning in my life..

the banyan which is home to someone love most dearly...

no more

no more...

no more i will feel again...

feel the pain...

never again...

no more...

say to myself...

everytime i feel the pain...

its done...

thing that i just loved..

loved and never tried to rationalize

for rationalizing was too little

too little to match the acceptance that my loved had...

love needs no respect...

no respect when we see two human beings as one...

when we feel one......

respect is too little..

too little in front of love..

love and acceptance...

acceptance that needs no rationalizing....

i look at it now...

i look at it now and i smile at myself...

i smile as i see it differenetly...

wonderful isn't it !!!